About us
After years of staring at the same bleak and boring canvas, plastered and mashed with a golden syrup of corn vomit, D-list celebrities, drunk white woman wearing boner inspiring skirts stained with the fruits of the night... we finally said "enough" and took a razor sharp samurai sword to the current situation, slashing. In a scream of fury, ripping the gripping arms of the awful and shameless publications, we free our needy and craving souls.
Now we mount our translucent and graceful steads and ride forth into the inspiring and galvanizing clouds, with no holds barred. We are the magnificent, the charismatic, the giver, the shy but sexually active, we are your friend, we are G'Joob.
Day by day our mind juices collide to engender a tsunami of images, stories, and inspiration that will make your eyes shoot rainbows and brain go spaz. The cheerful feeling (being similar to that of if you were to steal an Ewok, or be released from frozen carbonite by Princess Leia) will blanket you.
We here at G'Joob have a carefree attitude, screw it persona, and take no shit. We're like Steven Seagal but with a longer pony tail and we have one rule - there are no rules...
Please dont hesitate to leave a comment. All comments are sent to gjoob.contact@gmail.com and are not posted on the site.
The [F] Word - Sample article from G'JOOB vol.1 'Well, Fuck'
Fuck. I thought for a long time about how to approach writing about this simple yet powerful word, considering all the different angles I could approach it from. Defending it, analyzing its development, its use in popular culture… letting my mind wander, I even started asking myself bizarre questions such as; "What if the vast variety of situations we apply the word 'fuck', a word that originally means 'to copulate' suggests that we are ultimately here on this earth to reproduce and we know this so unconsciously that we have somehow adapted a word in our language that means to have sex, to be used in every emotional situation? Could the need to reproduce be that deep seeded in who we are as humans? What the fuck would that mean? But after babbling on and scratch-ing letters aimlessly in a desperate attempt to come to some kind of conclusion about this word, in a seemingly endless stream of consciousness… I figured, fuck it. The only way to truly appreciate its brilliance is to list all its colourful and inspiring applications. And that is precisely what I am going to do.
Firstly, I will start off with the grammatical categories that it can fall into, in real life situations. Starting with, a transitive verb – Simon fucked Jenny. As an intransitive verb – Jenny fucks. Adjective – Simon is doing all the fucking work. As part of an adverb – Jenny talks too fucking much. An adverb enhancing an adjective – Jenny is fucking hideous. A noun – I don't give a fuck. As part of a word – Fan-fucking-tastic. Or as almost every word in a sentence – Fuck the fucking Fuckers.
With the technicalities out of the way here are some examples of some emotional and experiential situations where 'fuck' is often used. Fraud – Well, looks like Vodaphone has fucked me yet again. Submission – Fuck it dude, lets go bowling. Dismissal – Fuck… off. Incompetence – I'm going to be honest with you, you're fucking hopeless. Empathy – I feel you're fucking pain. Inquiry – Who the fuck keeps putting my socks in the fish tank? Trouble – Oh, fuck. Aggression - Fuck you, you fucking Fuck-wit, if I catch you fucking with my shit again Ill fuck you in the ass so hard all that will be left of you is a bloody fucking pulp. Fuck.
Now, I think ill finish this fucking article with a quote from a man who really knows the score when it comes to the word fuck; he recognizes its power and uses it to his advantage. "Fuck off. It's such a lovely pair of words… and its international. I don't care where you are – if somebody's fuckin' with your bags in Lhasa Airport in Tibet and he's got a shaven head and saffron clothes on and you say "hey, fuck off!" he knows *exactly* what you mean. Exact- he will fuck off. Off he will fuck. 'Fuck off' doesn't mean 'go away'. 'Fuck off' means 'fuck… *off*'. And everybody feels what it means, nobody can write it down. There is no English equivalent for 'fuck off', because… it *is* English, 'fuck off'. You know? And English expressions don't have English equivalents, they fuckin' are, ya know? " - BILLY CONNELLY
G'Joob Vol.2 COMING SOON
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